Thanks guys, it seems that I was so stupid that I hadn't realised that the Question wasn't actually that dumb! Naturally, before posing the question here I had looked at the _KEYHIT, _KEYDOWN & _KEYCLEAR wiki pages, and assumed that the key combinations only worked for the Sys, ScL, Pause, CapL, Shift, Ctrl, Win, Alt & Menu keys in combination with other keys (they're the one in the wiki which have a "+" next to them, indicating their special combinatory abilities).
But I've now had a go with the example given on the _KEYDOWN wiki page, and indeed you DO seem to be able to have two keys down at once, and both the hardware and software can sort it out. Quite amazing!
Petr, no need to worry about the mocking self-deprecation. That's more-or-less the default British trait. It's all done in the greatest of humour!
Pete, whenever I've seen other members' efforts with PEEK/POKE, I've never understood a thing.